Lightsaber Night At Weidner Field An Epic Failure As Fan Chucks Jedi Device Of Mayhem On Pitch In Attempt To Blind Victorious Roots’ Player

Updated: Jun 24

We started the match with four of this lightsabers... only one survived the night.

We didn’t have a particular love for either of the two teams in this match, but being a guest in Colorado Springs, we made a choice to become a member of the Switchbacks fan base for an evening. Our bond to the Switchbacks grew stronger and stronger with each bogus flop the Oakland Roots side made.

Four Nomadic Hippies' Fútbol Is Life National Tour

Match Two: USLC Regular Season (6/3/23)

Location: Colorado Springs (Weider Field)

Score: Oakland Roots SC (1) Co. Springs Switchbacks FC (0)

4NH Team: Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC

4NH Fan Record: 1-1-0

4NH Human Of The Match: Paul Blanchette

When a goaltender doesn't give up at goal for the entire match, it is called a "clean sheet." From what I gathered while coaching high school soccer, this is a good thing. Paul Blanchette and his orange uniform did just that for the Oakland Roots SC.

Paul Blanchette, Oakland Roots goaltender, truly looks handsome in his orange jersey.

Although Blanchette only faced two shots on goal during the match, his real impact was felt in the way he navigated and controlled the Switchbacks’ ten corners. Using his athleticism and 6’4 frame, Paul corralled in most of them without any further incident, and the Switchbacks never really threatened from the corner. Blanchette also seemed to communicate with the rest of his side extremely well when facing any pressure from Colorado Springs.

The follicly challenged Blanchette began his professional career in 2020 (with USLC side Rio Grande Valley FC), and he has suited up for Oakland since 2021, becoming their starting goalie. At the conclusion of the 2023 Season, Blanchette's stellar play was rewarded with his selection as a member USLC Second Team All-League (he lead the league in saves) and was awarded the Oakland Roots SC Player of the Year..

4NH Fav Of The Match: Deshane Beckford

Deshane Beckford was a joy to watch on the pitch, as it seems he has an engine that just keeps going and going. With his speed, both with and without the ball, Beckford is a threat to impact the game at any moment. The buzz within the stadium picks up each time he is involved in the play.

Deshane Beckford (right) getting ready to tee it up for one of his four shots he took during the match for the Swtichbacks.

At age 25, it will be interesting to see how the rest of Deshane’s career plays out. Playing in the USLC since 2019, Beckford has managed to work his way up the ladder for his national team, Jamaica, making his first cap in 2022 (a 3-0 loss to Peru in a friendly).

Playing mostly midfield, Beckford has managed nine goals and eleven assists in 76 USLC matches, with over half of his appearances coming with the Switchbacks. Deshane has also suited up for San Antonio FC and Rio Grande Valley Toros.

Dickhead Move Of The Night: Lightsaber On The Pitch

I think we could all have predicted this… It was lightsaber night. Thousands of lightsabers were handed out to those attending the match… this promotion gave enraged fans thousands of opportunities to chuck those things on the pitch. Was it inevitable that one would make its way onto the playing surface…? Yes. Marijuana is legal in Colorado, and beer is sold at Weider Field.

The lightsaber that was hurled onto the pitch is off to the right and did not cause the injury to the Roots player on the ground.

After about the 10,000th time a Roots player flopped/sustained a career-threatening injury, one Switchbacks fan finally met their wit's end and tossed their replica of the weapon of the Jedi onto the pitch. Fortunately for all involved, it was not a real lightsaber, and no one was killed in the process.

Did this anti-flopping Switchback ultra fan get an invitation to leave the match or hauled off in handcuffs? Nope. Even with the players/officials/security knowing the general area the lightsaber came from, no one in the section in question ratted out the guilty party. Now that is fan unity… besides, we all were thinking of doing it ourselves, and those without sin should cast the first lightsaber.

4NH Best Logo/Kit: Oakland Roots FC

Not only did the Oakland Roots have the far superior logo and kit for this match, but Elizabeth and I had the discussion that the organization may have one of the best (at least in the realm of fútbol) in existence. Despite purchasing a Switchbacks kit, I think we both secretly wished that Roots gear was available to us.

Matthew Wolff really nailed it on the design of the Oakland Roots logo, which was nicely incorporated into the team’s kit.

It appears that perhaps we aren’t the only people who think that the Roots gear is off the hook. Oakland native and NBA superstar Damian Lillard has been seen sporting it before games (including the 2019 NBA playoffs), and rapper/Guinness World Record holder Murs (rapped for 24 hours non-stop) has been spotted in one. We have no idea who Murs is... and we probably don't care.

It isn’t a big surprise the Oakland Roots logo and kits are a hit. Graphic designer Matthew Wolff created it, along with a number of others for fútbol teams around the United States. MLS sides Chicago Fire FC and Los Angeles FC had their logos created by Wolff, as well as NWSL franchises Racing Louisville FC and San Diego Wave FC.

So, if you are looking for logo work (and I imagine you have a fistful of cash), take a look at Matthew Wolff’s work at matthewwolff.com and prepare to be amazed.

Just to clarify… Matthew Wolff is in no way compensating me for my endorsement… although I wouldn’t say no if he offered.